Drive a Tank
Some people say their big SUV’s drive like a tank. With enough overhead on your credit card balance you can actually drive a tank. A mail order tank from Amazon.com no less.
Seriously. Check it out. 
I doubt that the product is real, but it’s worth a few minutes of your time just to read the reviews. Some of them are quite amusing. Such as:
I’ll admit it. Shopping for a personal tank can be a bit daunting.
and…
Some people have sticker shock when they see the price of the Badonkadonk, but what did they expect? A tank for the price of a Kia? Come’on! Let’s be reasonable! If you were considering a Hummer, you’d have to cough up around fifty grand. Or more. This bad boy is cheap at 19K and even my Hyundai cost more than that. This is a stone bargain, make no mistake.
and my favorite…
You can have it specially made with cupholders and a swivelling rear view mirror and everything. Our local county defense group bought six of them using money we made selling canned fruit, macadamia nut cookies, and specially modified three-centimeter casemate anti-tank guns.
Really. Some people have waaaay too much time on their hands.